Addicted
by A. F. Lilly
Summary: "We are all so sure that we are living but inside we are dying, and it makes us bitter, to ourselves, to those around us and we find ourselves hurting those we love the most.." After one weekend with this man full of secrets, I was altered for life, and after one month with this man my life was changed forever. MAFIA STORY!


**A. F. Lilly**

 **Short Introduction. Hopefully to reel you in.**

 **Don't own these character's. Watch what you say because they have a mind of their own. ( ;**

 **Also after the chapter that reveals who the leading male is I will add it to the main story description. Our leading lady will only be involved with the one man. I just left it off for now for some build up. ( ;**

 **Also sorry for any typos!**

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 **Chapter One**

Ad·dict·ed

əˈdiktəd/

 _Adjective_

Physically and mentally dependent on a particular substance, and unable to stop taking it without incurring adverse effects.

 **-A. F. LILLY-**

It's hard to look someone you know you've wronged in the eye. At least it is for me. Thats why as my boss cries in front of me I don't meet her eyes and give her a look full of sympathy as I slowly and comfortingly rub her back. No I look down at my hands and will my fingers not to twiddle. "I'm sorry for breaking down like this in front of you. I know you probably have plans tonight."

 _Just to fuck your husband._

 _"_ And here I am holding you up. Here i'll get out of your way. Have a nice night Isabella. Again…I'm sorry for just breaking down like they in front of you." Not as sorry as I wish I was for continuously screwing your husband on said couch your crying on. "It's honestly okay Mrs. Cullen."

I say as I slowly rise from the pristine white couch and grab my ratty book bag of the floor. I quickly but hopefully not to fast walk out of the living room thats the size of my entire apartment. I send a silent prayer up that she doesn't stop me before I walk down her long driveway to my car, and for once God spares me.

I quickly get in my car and before I can even put my seatbelt on he's calling me. I look down at my iPhone and contemplate just letting it go to voicemail but I know that won't work. He'll just keep calling me until I do answer. So I reluctantly pick up, and before I even have a chance to speak his deep smooth, raspy voice is angrily in my ear. "Have a nice chat with my wife?"

I roll my eyes at his antics. "As a matter of fact I did. We had a great conversation. We even got to compare notes to the similar styles you've fucked us." I here his breathing pick up and I know he's with his men and he's resisting from yelling. "Don't play games with me Doe. You know today's not a good day for this bullshit." I feel my face get heated at his nickname for me.

"Oh shove it up your fucking ass. You have the nerve to pull this shit with me today. Your lucky! Your so lucky I didn't tell you wife all the dirty little nasty fucking things her precious husband did to me on the very couch she sat and cried on."

I hear his breath hitch "Wait...she was crying? Why?"

Even though I know he''s not mine I still get a pain in my chest from the softening in his voice because I can tell he's concerned for her. "Why do you think? Maybe it's because its becoming clear her husband of fifteen years is fucking screwing around on her! Maybe its that!" I don't even give him the chance to reply I quickly hang up on him and take a deep breath as I buckle my seat and start my baby up.

I pull out the gated house and quickly drive to the highway so that I can go home and sleep the rest of this day from hell off. I'm honestly surprised I didn't crash because before I know it I'm home and I have no memory of the drive.

I quickly park in my space and head inside my apartment. I take the stairs two at a time and as I climb to my floor the events of the past week finally resonate with me and I feel my eyes start to water. I shake my head in an effort to rid myself of all thoughts of him...but just like any other time its no use. I unlock my door and shut an lock it behind me.

I hear the faint sound of air moving and then I feel a large hand wrapped around my throat. I feel myself panic as air stops going into my lungs. His hand is just like the rest of him ...huge and it easily wraps almost all the way around my neck. I meet his piercing blue green eyes as he roughly pushes me by the hand still wrapped around my throat against the door.

All I can focus on is the somewhat familiar coldness in his eyes as I struggle to breath. I bring my hands up in a futile effort to remove his hand from my throat but just like I figured there's no point. "E-E-E-" I try to say his name and maybe plead for him to stop but his grip is too tight. I feel the tears finally start to fall as I realize he really doesn't care about me. I was just a means to end.

Something he could just use until he was tired of it and just discard the next day. I continue to stare in his eyes and just as my sight begins to fill with black spots due to my lack of oxygen. I feel his warm full lips on my own before he quickly removes his hand from around my throat and I drop at his feet gasping for air.

The tears start to flow quickly now as I feel myself panicking and it seems as though my breath doesn't want to come easily. I'm borderline sobbing at the this mans feet after he tried to kill me. I feel his large hands grab my shoulders in an effort to lift me up. "Doe...baby I- Im sorry. I- I wasn't thinking.." I hear his voice crack and everything that just happened is too much.

I pull away from his embrace and kick so that my body has some distance from his. My mind still hasn't came to turns with what just almost happened. I try to run to my kitchen but between my shock and my already bad coordination I make it half way there and fall to my knees.

I feel pain shoot up both my legs as I quickly get up and try again. I don't fall again until I make it to the kitchen counter and I catch myself on it. I open the drawer at the same time I feel his chest against my back. "Baby, please...I-I don't know-" before he can finish I quickly turn and stab him with a steak knife in his forearm. I hear him hiss but other than that no words or sounds leave his mouth. I know he's pissed. In the past when I'd push him he'd be furious so my body starts to shake at the thought of his reaction to a knife slicing through his flesh. My mind is racing so that pain I feel from hurting the man i love doesn't register with me.

At this point he's no longer him. He'd just a man who tried kill me. As I try to rush by him he grabs my wrist and starts to pull me from the kitchen.

My heart somehow quickens even more as i try to drop my weight in an effort to remove his vice grip from around my wrist. Resistance is futile and the tears somehow flow even more. We've fought before but never like this. Blood was never drawn and the almost murder's never happened.

This was it.

He finally was going to kill me. He drags me to my room kicking and screaming. I honestly don't know if i'm pleading for my life or threatening his. All i hear is my voice echoing through my thin walls. He easily tosses me to my bed and thats when real fear sparks. I'm trying to convince myself that he wont do what I think he's going to do but at the same time an hour ago I never believed he'd try to kill me.

I know what he's capable of.

Before I can scramble off the bed I feel his weight on top of mine. "NO! GET OFF ME! E-E-E- …PLEASE…don't." I still cant see his face from the blinding tears as he starts to literally rip my clothes off of me. So many times before he's strength turned me on but this time it makes a cold uncomfortable chill go down my spine.

"P-P-P-leassee…" I say and I look up trying to make out the facial expression on his face. I finally can see his painfully beautiful face doesn't seem as hard, or as cold as before...it almost looks as though he's in pain. I'v seen him after a gun shot wound to the abdominal before and he never even winced. So I can't imagine how a stab wound to the arm is hurting him this bad. I'm completely naked beneath him and his suit though I know is soft and smooth feels like razors against my skin.

"DOE!" He yells and I turn my face to the side at his yelling at such close proximity. I'm now deciding that if he's going to do this. I wont make eye contact. I wont react. The fight is leaving me and my body wants to shut down.

"DAMMIT DOE LOOK AT ME!"

He says as he grabs my chin and forces me to look upon his face. He doesn't say anything. He just stares into my eyes. His blue green orbs falling into my dark hazel ones.

He slowly…so slowly drops his lips to mine and the kiss is so soft I barley can feel them on me. "I"m sorry…God…I'm— I'm so sorry."

He says against my lips and i'm a little startled when i feel wetness on my cheeks.

He's crying.

No— he's sobbing and his tears are quickly mixing with my own that lay on my cheeks. He removes his lips from my own and places his forehead against mine. "I"m sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." He says over and over as he slowly removes his body and lays next to me.

He continues to cry as I look over him. There's blood.

So much blood all over him. The stab wound looks superficial but it also looks angry as his blood pours from it. His blood is everywhere on himself, on my bed and as i look down at my naked body i see that I'm covered in it as well.

The blood isn't whats shocking em though. His tears are. Ive never seen him cry before.

The fact that he's sobbing in my bed…. scares me more than his anger.

I can here Angela's voice in my head " _Bella this isn't healthy. He's like a drug to you. He's going to ruin you."_ As I slowly shift so that I'm halfway laying against his chest. I don't dare look up at face knowing if I do his pain will cause me to want to comfort him more. I know I'll open my legs and he'll seek the warmth and comfort they'll bring him. I know I'll enjoy it. As soon as my head lays on his peck his strong arms wrap around me. The same arms that I just feared now feel like home again.

I feel the the tears start to fall again.

How can you love someone to the point of pain? Because even now wrapped in the man who jus tried to strangle me arms.

The thought of leaving shoots a pain through my heart far worse than the fear that sat in it when his hand was gripped around my throat. _Bella this isn't healthy. He's like a drug to you. He's going to ruin you._ I snuggle deeper into his chest and just like an other day my body feels at peace and safe in his arms.

The events of this week and of today finally become to much as my mind finally decides to shut down. And as my eyes close I cant help but try to not let my myself focus on the fact that the love of my life, just tried to kill me and unknowingly his unborn child.

When did my life become so fucked up?

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 **AUTHORS NOTE:**

 **WOW! Ummm yeah... so heads up to anyone reading. This story will make you mad, cry, laugh, and maybe even a little horny. ALMOST NOTHING IS OFF LIMITS. Sorry not sorry. This is a mafia story and the mafia is hardcore...for anyone wondering if there will be a HEA...you'll just have to ride along and see. I will reveal somethings in the story as well as in the author notes as we go.**

 **P.S. Don't be too hard on E.**

 **I promise everything will be revealed.**

 **Thats all I got for you. Till next time Lovies.**

 **A. F. Lilly**


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